Big changes recent and soon to come.

In my line of work, I have much time to think. I always seem to cling to the romances in my life; and in some cases so tightly that I loose them. I have always known why I cling so tightly. Only when I finaly put it in words can I see how to keep her here; this one, this time. Earlier in life everything, every day was trying to get by, just survive till the next day. Then I clung to escape my home, to escape all the stress and pressure and worry. Now with out a romance in my life, everything seems so dead, so tired, so pointless. When shes around I feel so alive, so happy, and so.. so indescribable. Now I want to make the other parts of my life better so that when she is away I can be happy, and her more happy for it. Happy that im not clinging so tightly and happy because if im happy then ill do things to make myself happier, and making her happy is at the top of the list of things that make me happy. :) Much redundincy here but it feels so good to see my life working out. Im up for promotion soon, and if I can "jump" high enough then maybe she and I can be eaven better. I worry though. The promotion could mean that our sedualls will conflict. At the same time it means more money, out of debt, and so many other stresses, so much faster...