On that note.

BLAH!!!!! Well maybe one day I will stop repeeting the same mistakes. I still think I need to learn to relax and take it easy. I think doing that will solve all my biggest woes in life. Not because it will somehow make them all go away, but because I will handle them better. If I can Just ( yes I know how "fanticfull" I'm being) Calm down and relax then mabie learn to enjoy life. Then problems come and problems go but all in all I would be happy, because I would be choosing to be happy and not full of stress. The hardest part is going to be breaking away from the way every one arround me carrys the stress. Its hard to not stress and not take on other peoples stress with out seeming not to care. Oh what a task. I am always on my guard these days. Always suspecious. Always paranoid. No pills for me, just taking controll of myself the old fashioned way, hard work. Pain to be expected but in the long run I won't be relying on anything but me to make me happy. :) well see wish me luck! :)