Troubles from the Heart
Third Day, Bush, 10cc, Moody Blues.
We have been together for 4 months. We have sex on a regular basis, and trust each other with vital financial information. Yet she still won't talk to me. If theres a problem, if I have a problem, I try to talk to her about it. I try to find out her side, what ever I can. Still she won't say anything. Its driving me CRAZY!!! I don't know if I should cry, scream or just leave. We can't build a healthy realationship on silence!!!! *****&$@#^$@&#^%*&#*@^$*^@#%*&@#$%*^*%@#$%@#^*$##@$&%@#&%*#*%@*&@#$#!
I am soooooo frustrated, I want to make this work, I want to.... I want to be happy. We don't talk. I've grown to distant from my friends to talk to them anymore, and what good would that do anyway? Talking here won't do any good either. But I have to say something. to someone.. how pathetic is that. Poring my heart out to cyberspace. But I supose I don't feel like I'm going to explode any more. I know she needs more time. She's still healing from her last "wound" about a year ago. Can't complain really, took me almost 2 years to even consider dating again. Even then it was a bit sketchy. Dude, having to be patient sucks ass. At least this kind of patience. I wish I had some kind of God I could pray to for guidence and help to stay patient. Alas, the hard life of living your own life and making your own choices. I supose I do like it better this way. Just doesn't feel right having someone else tell you how to live your life. That means in good times and bad. Even if the bad times make you wish you didn't have to make the decisions. That may just be an old habbit though. Have I realy let that much of my life be swayed by mear words from others? so much that now its a habbit, that I actually want someone else to rule my life? I guess I kinda do. It is easier that way, and brings a fasad (spelling any one? "fa-saw-d") of happyness. Want? yes. But I also want to be lazy. I also want to not have to work for a living. I also want a perfect world. So I take my own road, Live my own life. Choose how I love. Want what I want and get what I get. No surealistic facades of delusional joy for me. Just the cold hard reality of Love, Hate, Pain, anguish, joy and plesure. No. I will not try to have one with out the other. In that there is only the "jade stone". "what is life, but what we make of it?"~
We have been together for 4 months. We have sex on a regular basis, and trust each other with vital financial information. Yet she still won't talk to me. If theres a problem, if I have a problem, I try to talk to her about it. I try to find out her side, what ever I can. Still she won't say anything. Its driving me CRAZY!!! I don't know if I should cry, scream or just leave. We can't build a healthy realationship on silence!!!! *****&$@#^$@&#^%*&#*@^$*^@#%*&@#$%*^*%@#$%@#^*$##@$&%@#&%*#*%@*&@#$#!
I am soooooo frustrated, I want to make this work, I want to.... I want to be happy. We don't talk. I've grown to distant from my friends to talk to them anymore, and what good would that do anyway? Talking here won't do any good either. But I have to say something. to someone.. how pathetic is that. Poring my heart out to cyberspace. But I supose I don't feel like I'm going to explode any more. I know she needs more time. She's still healing from her last "wound" about a year ago. Can't complain really, took me almost 2 years to even consider dating again. Even then it was a bit sketchy. Dude, having to be patient sucks ass. At least this kind of patience. I wish I had some kind of God I could pray to for guidence and help to stay patient. Alas, the hard life of living your own life and making your own choices. I supose I do like it better this way. Just doesn't feel right having someone else tell you how to live your life. That means in good times and bad. Even if the bad times make you wish you didn't have to make the decisions. That may just be an old habbit though. Have I realy let that much of my life be swayed by mear words from others? so much that now its a habbit, that I actually want someone else to rule my life? I guess I kinda do. It is easier that way, and brings a fasad (spelling any one? "fa-saw-d") of happyness. Want? yes. But I also want to be lazy. I also want to not have to work for a living. I also want a perfect world. So I take my own road, Live my own life. Choose how I love. Want what I want and get what I get. No surealistic facades of delusional joy for me. Just the cold hard reality of Love, Hate, Pain, anguish, joy and plesure. No. I will not try to have one with out the other. In that there is only the "jade stone". "what is life, but what we make of it?"~
1 Comments:
You got it right the second time. Facade. Architectural term for the face of a building. Like ZCMI downtown. All the columns and stuff is the original facade of the building.
Post a Comment
<< Home