Not final?
After many fights, and problems I have come to a final decision. This does not nessasarily mean finality of the relation ship. In everyones life they should come first. Family, for some, comes second and then so on. In my life I come first, or at least I am trying to make it that way. My GF comes second, and on down the list. For the purpose of better understanding what I am saying I will use this scale for example: your-self = overiding priority, and Variable A = first priority and Variable B= second priority etc... Right now In my life I am the only one who seems to have me as a high priority. This is ok when it comes to my friends. I do not expect to be a priority with my family, most of the time.
However If there is one person in my life I expect/want/need/will not settle for less from its my intamate companion, eg. my girl friend. I can understand, only 6mo along that family should still, in most cases, have priority. However My GF has me... excuse me,
she
tells me that: variable A= family and Variable B= me etc...
Then there is what she
shows me: Variable A=family and that Variable B fluxuates between Me and what ever fits her mood.
finding a way to put this feeling in words is what I have been holding out for. Other wise I would have left some time ago. Now that I know how to say it, I will say it; to her. If she can not commit to puting me at a minimum of Variable B, and in some cases A, then She and I need to reavaluate our relationship. Mainly because I will not settle for less, and if she can not meet the requirement then I need our relationship to be one plationic enough for me to find someone who can. Although I am not with out understanding or a heart. I will hear her out. In the end I am willing to become friends instead, but I am not willing to be second in her life, as a boyfriend, etc.., for the rest of time. At this point, 6 mo., I will not settle for less then second, and after a year or so I will not settle for les then joint ownership of first between me and her family, of-cose depending on the situation. This is what I am looking for in a mate/companion/partner etc... And I will not settle for less. I have put this down because I feel that if I write it I am in a sence commiting to it. And I need to start puting what I need before what I am willing to settle for. I need to stop settling for less then what I deserve and I hope that writing this here will help me commit to that. A request, and only a request, to anyone who reads this. Please if you ever see me doing any thing but this, please talk to me about it and help me make sure that I know what I am doing to myself. Thank you. Here is hoping and wishing for a good out come and a good night.
However If there is one person in my life I expect/want/need/will not settle for less from its my intamate companion, eg. my girl friend. I can understand, only 6mo along that family should still, in most cases, have priority. However My GF has me... excuse me,
she
tells me that: variable A= family and Variable B= me etc...
Then there is what she
shows me: Variable A=family and that Variable B fluxuates between Me and what ever fits her mood.
finding a way to put this feeling in words is what I have been holding out for. Other wise I would have left some time ago. Now that I know how to say it, I will say it; to her. If she can not commit to puting me at a minimum of Variable B, and in some cases A, then She and I need to reavaluate our relationship. Mainly because I will not settle for less, and if she can not meet the requirement then I need our relationship to be one plationic enough for me to find someone who can. Although I am not with out understanding or a heart. I will hear her out. In the end I am willing to become friends instead, but I am not willing to be second in her life, as a boyfriend, etc.., for the rest of time. At this point, 6 mo., I will not settle for less then second, and after a year or so I will not settle for les then joint ownership of first between me and her family, of-cose depending on the situation. This is what I am looking for in a mate/companion/partner etc... And I will not settle for less. I have put this down because I feel that if I write it I am in a sence commiting to it. And I need to start puting what I need before what I am willing to settle for. I need to stop settling for less then what I deserve and I hope that writing this here will help me commit to that. A request, and only a request, to anyone who reads this. Please if you ever see me doing any thing but this, please talk to me about it and help me make sure that I know what I am doing to myself. Thank you. Here is hoping and wishing for a good out come and a good night.
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