On to what I was actually going to write.

So what I was going to say before my little rant was this. I read a blog earlier tonight. It was, for me, a big bright light that made me realise that I wasn't the only one who thought this. I didn't think I was, but I never thought about it untill now. Relationships are rather complex. *no shit* says the penut gallery. Well when a and b are in a relationship and a and c are in a less involved relationship. if c knows b, then the relationship between a and b effects c. This has been more then apparent to me over the last few weeks. I have been crying in michelles arms all week. The broken relationships over this past month have no direct tie to me. Indirectly one of those relationships GREATLY impacts my finances. All of them impact my heart. I was asked a year ago to stand in the middle of one of those messes. If I had known then what I know now I would never have agreed to it. I almost think when I was asked to that I aut to have flipped her off and stormed off. Hind sight is 20/20. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I have been the most uninvolved involved party in all of this. Too much more and im a say "fuck you all" and get away from all of the shit. I didn't ask to be put in the position im in. No thats not true. I asked to be put in this position when I asked, in action not word, to be the friend of those involved. If I had known that having them turn on me for doing my best to get through this life and handle the problems that come my way as best I can then I'd have left their companionship along time ago. You all put me in the place I am now, I chose to be your friend and so indirectly I chose to be here. I am fine being here. But my only support, my only reliece is here. I rarely get enough emotional support any where or from anyone. Here I can let it out. I can't count the number of times I have blead my heart out here while my key board gets wet with tears. This is my place. Be carefull where you tread. Im not inclined to befriend anyone who thinks that their actions only effect them.