.....Weeks go by and so do I.....

So, trucking has been postponed. I will look in to saving money to earn my CDL through a local company. This has an advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage is that I can go strait in to city trucking and skip the long haul. The disadvantage is that in the mean time I have to come up with 3K to pay for school. Either way its a good paying job and one that can quickly, if I don't go hog wild, pay for schooling. Then again who knows, maybe I'll like short haul and stick with it. If it pays right then who knows. :) What ever happens I have told Zeb to come on home when he's ready. I found out that he was staying OTR because I had expressed interest in going with him. I'd rather have him home. I know that others would too. I talked to M last night. It has been 6 mo that we've been together. I consider this time for a "6 mo review" lol. I figure its a good idea to take a look at the last 6 months and make sure we both still want what's happening. Also to make sure that what is happening is right for each of us. Sat night and Sun morning are "our time" so after Paint Ball sat morn/afternoon we get to spend time and make sure our relationship is mentally emotionally and physically "up to par". Better to talk now then... Well not to be tact less but I don't want to end up like L and Z so I want to make sure we aren't holding on to each other out of fear. I want to make sure that aspirations of love, or fear of being alone aren't the reasons we are together. I want to make sure that we are together because we love each other and are good for each other. Love or not, if either of us does things to hurt the other then those things either need to get fixed or we need to change the status of our relationship. Neither of us should have to change who we are to make the other happy. Maybe changing bad habits or minor things to make our interaction more smooth, sure; but major personality changes shouldn't have to happen. Lots of details about it but only time will tell if this relationship is best as intimate partners or if we would be wise to become friends instead. We shall see this weekend. :) I hope for what ever is best, but I also hope that I don't end up single. :) I suppose I want to have my cake and eat it too... mmmmm cake.... mmmm eat.. ;) lol